Knowing when your teen needs help from others

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Supporting Neurodivergent High School Learners

Neurodivergent teens, including those with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and other learning differences, often encounter extra hurdles in high school. For parents, knowing when your teen needs help from others can feel even more complex. Your teen might mask their struggles, avoid asking for support, or become overwhelmed by the idea of reaching out. Many parents of neurodivergent learners report feeling uncertain about when to step in or when to let their child handle challenges independently. It is important to trust your instincts, stay observant, and remember that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.

Definitions

Self-advocacy means recognizing your own needs and communicating them to others to get the right support. For teens, this includes knowing when to ask for help from teachers, counselors, or peers.

Neurodivergent describes individuals whose brains process information in ways that differ from what is considered typical. This includes people with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and other learning differences.

Why is knowing when your teen needs help from others important?

High school is a time of increasing independence. Teens are balancing academics, social life, extracurriculars, and personal growth. For neurodivergent learners, these transitions can be especially demanding. Knowing when your teen needs help from others is not just about academic survival; it is about building the confidence to self-advocate in any situation. Experts in child development note that teens who learn to seek support early are more resilient, less likely to develop chronic stress, and are better prepared for life after high school.

What are the signs your teen needs support?

Recognizing the signs your teen needs support is not always simple. Many teachers and parents report that neurodivergent students may hide their struggles, fearing embarrassment or judgment. Here are some common signals to watch for:

• Sudden drops in grades or missing assignments
• Increased frustration, anger, or withdrawal from schoolwork or social activities
• Frequent complaints about headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue
• Avoiding conversations about school or future plans
• Expressing hopelessness (“I’ll never get this” or “It doesn’t matter”)
• Changes in sleep, eating, or hygiene habits
• Becoming overly reliant on parents to manage deadlines or solve problems
• Difficulty starting or finishing tasks, even with reminders

For neurodivergent teens, these signs may appear more subtly or fluctuate with their environment. For example, a student with ADHD might become more disorganized or impulsive when overwhelmed, while an autistic teen might withdraw or become rigid in routines.

High School Self-Advocacy: How can parents help teens recognize when to ask for help?

High school brings increased expectations for independence, but teens—especially neurodivergent learners—still need guidance in developing self-advocacy. Here are some practical ways parents can foster awareness and confidence:

• Normalize the need for help: Share personal stories of when you asked for support. Remind your teen that even adults need guidance sometimes.
• Model self-advocacy: Let your teen see you reaching out to others for advice or resources, whether related to work, family, or community.
• Practice together: Role-play asking a teacher for clarification or requesting extra time on assignments. The more practice, the easier it becomes in real situations.
• Identify trusted adults: Help your teen make a list of supportive people at school, such as teachers, counselors, or coaches, and talk about how to approach them.
• Encourage reflection: After a tough day, ask open-ended questions like, “What felt most challenging today?” or “Who could you talk to about this?”
• Reinforce small steps: Celebrate when your teen reaches out for help, even if it is just asking a friend to study together.

It is vital to approach these conversations with empathy rather than pressure. Neurodivergent teens may need extra time to process their feelings and may worry about being seen as different. Patience, validation, and gentle encouragement go a long way.

Common parent concerns: Is my teen just being a typical high schooler?

Many parents wonder if they are overreacting to typical adolescent ups and downs. High school teens, neurodivergent or not, experience mood swings, stress, and occasional disengagement. So how can you tell when help is truly needed? Consider these questions:

• Are the changes in behavior sudden or severe?
• Is your teen’s academic performance or social life suffering?
• Do the struggles persist despite your support or reminders?
• Is your teen open to talking, or have they become completely withdrawn?

If you answer yes to any of these, it may be time to gently suggest reaching out for help. Frame the conversation around partnership, not judgment. For example, “I’ve noticed you seem really stressed about math lately. Would it help to talk to your teacher together?”

Practical steps for parents: Supporting your neurodivergent teen in high school

Supporting neurodivergent teens as they navigate high school is about more than academics. Here are concrete steps parents can take:

• Keep communication open: Schedule regular check-ins that are low-pressure and focused on listening.
• Use visual supports: Many neurodivergent learners benefit from calendars, checklists, or planners to track assignments and appointments.
• Break down big tasks: Help your teen see that large projects can be tackled in small, manageable steps.
• Provide reminders and routines: Consistent routines and gentle reminders help reduce overwhelm and build independence.
• Encourage use of accommodations: If your teen has an IEP or 504 plan, remind them these supports are there for a reason and using them is a mark of self-advocacy.
• Connect with school resources: Reach out to teachers, counselors, or special education staff for feedback and ideas. Many schools offer peer tutoring or study groups.
• Celebrate strengths: Recognize your teen’s talents, interests, and efforts, not just their challenges.

When should parents let go and when should they step in?

Finding the right balance between supporting your teen and fostering independence is tricky. The goal is to empower your teen to recognize when they need help and to feel confident seeking it. Here are some guidelines:

• If your teen is in danger (emotionally or academically), step in right away.
• If struggles are moderate and your teen is open to ideas, coach them on self-advocacy skills and offer to help with problem-solving.
• If your teen resists all support, keep communication lines open, and let them know you are always available if they change their mind.

Remember, the process of knowing when your teen needs help from others is gradual. Mistakes and setbacks are part of learning. Stay patient, supportive, and consistent.

Building lifelong skills: The impact of self-advocacy

Teens who learn the skill of knowing when your teen needs help from others are better equipped for college, the workplace, and adult life. Self-advocacy increases confidence, reduces anxiety, and helps teens access resources that allow them to thrive. Encourage your teen to see asking for help as a strength rather than a weakness. Over time, they will develop the resilience to face challenges with optimism and creativity.

For more tips on building effective self-advocacy and related skills, visit our self-advocacy resource page.

Related Resources

• Asking for Help: Getting Past Obstacles for Teens
• Social Skills for Asking for Help
• 5 Common Techniques for Helping Struggling Students

Tutoring Support

K12 Tutoring understands that every neurodivergent learner’s journey is unique. Our experienced educators work with families to identify strengths, address challenges, and develop practical strategies for knowing when your teen needs help from others. Whether your teen needs academic coaching, organizational skills, or emotional encouragement, we are here to support your family every step of the way.

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].