Recognizing when it’s time to seek help

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Supporting Neurodivergent High School Learners

High school can bring unique challenges for neurodivergent learners. As a parent, you may notice that your child’s strengths shine in some areas but they struggle in others. Recognizing when its time to seek help is not always easy for neurodivergent teens, especially with issues like anxiety, sensory overload, or trouble with organization. Many parents of neurodivergent children report that their teens may avoid reaching out due to fear of stigma, past negative experiences, or uncertainty about who to trust. Your encouragement and understanding can make a world of difference as your child learns to speak up for their needs and develop lifelong self-advocacy skills.

Definitions

Self-advocacy means knowing how and when to ask for help, and communicating your needs to others in a respectful, clear way.

Neurodivergent learners include students who think, learn, or process information differently, such as those with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or other learning differences.

Why Recognizing When Its Time to Seek Help Matters in High School

High school is a time of increasing independence, but also higher academic and social demands. For neurodivergent learners, recognizing when its time to seek help can be the difference between feeling overwhelmed and feeling empowered. Experts in child development note that early intervention and supportive conversations at home help teens develop resilience and coping skills. When your child feels safe to express when they are stuck or anxious, it sends the message that needing help is normal, not a sign of weakness or failure.

Many teachers and parents report that students who master self-advocacy tend to have better outcomes, both academically and emotionally. They are more likely to seek feedback, use accommodations, and build positive relationships with teachers and peers.

Common Emotional Barriers to Asking for Help

Even when a problem is clear, neurodivergent high schoolers may face emotional barriers that make it hard to ask for support. Here are some of the most frequent hurdles:

• Fear of judgment: Worrying about what others will think or being labeled as “lazy” or “not smart.”
• Shame or embarrassment: Feeling like they should already know the answer or manage on their own.
• Not knowing who to trust: Uncertainty about which adults will respond with patience and respect.
• Overwhelm: Stress and sensory overload can make it hard to recognize when its time to seek help, let alone take the first step.

It is important to let your child know that many students share these feelings. Try sharing a time when you needed to ask for help, or point out role models who advocate for themselves.

What Does “Recognizing When Its Time to Seek Help” Look Like?

“Recognizing when its time to seek help” is not always obvious for teens. It can show up in subtle ways:

• Procrastinating on assignments, especially those with unclear instructions
• Withdrawing from friends or activities due to stress or frustration
• Hidden struggles with executive function, such as forgetting deadlines or losing track of supplies
• Frequent headaches, stomachaches, or trouble sleeping tied to academic pressure

As a parent, watch for patterns. If your child is spending hours on homework but grades are slipping, or if they seem unusually anxious before tests, these may be signs they need support. Open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling about your workload?” or “Is there anything that feels especially tough this week?” can invite honest conversation.

How Parents Can Encourage Self-Advocacy and Knowing When to Ask

One of the most powerful things you can do is model and reinforce the idea that asking for help is part of learning. Here are some strategies you can use at home:

• Normalize help-seeking: Share examples of adults (including yourself) who ask questions at work or in daily life.
• Break down tasks: Help your child identify where they feel confident and where they might need support.
• Role-play: Practice what to say when approaching a teacher or counselor. “I am having trouble understanding this assignment. Can you help me figure out where to start?”
• Review supports together: Go over available resources, such as IEP accommodations, study groups, or after-school tutoring. Let your child choose which supports feel comfortable.
• Celebrate progress: Offer praise when your child uses self-advocacy skills, even for small steps like emailing a teacher a question.

Supporting your teen in knowing when to ask for guidance helps them build independence and confidence for life beyond high school. If you want more ideas, you can explore our resources on self-advocacy.

High School and Knowing When to Ask for Help: Parent Q&A

How do I know if my high schooler really needs help, or if it is just normal stress?

It is natural for all teens to feel some pressure, but if your child’s stress is constant, interferes with sleep, or leads to avoidance of schoolwork or social activities, it is time to take a closer look. Recognizing when its time to seek help means noticing when problems do not resolve with basic support, or when your child’s strategies are not working.

My child says they “just do not want to bother anyone.” What can I do?

Reassure them that teachers and counselors want to help, and that it is their job to support students. Practice together what they could say, and remind them that everyone needs help sometimes. Encourage small, low-pressure requests at first to build comfort.

What if my child faces stigma for asking for help?

Unfortunately, some teens worry that seeking support will make them stand out. Highlight examples of classmates or public figures who advocate for their needs. Remind your child that their brain works in unique and valuable ways, and that asking for help shows courage and self-awareness.

Building a Home Environment That Supports Recognizing When Its Time to Seek Help

Your words and actions at home send powerful messages about learning and resilience. Here are ways to create a supportive atmosphere:

• Validate feelings: Let your child know it is okay to feel stuck, frustrated, or overwhelmed.
• Encourage open communication: Set aside regular check-ins about school and stress, without judgment.
• Use resources together: Look at assignment guidelines, rubrics, or online supports as a team.
• Set realistic expectations: Remind your child that learning takes time, and that progress is more important than perfection.

Remember, recognizing when its time to seek help is a skill that grows with practice and support. If you notice your child struggling and unsure how to proceed, gentle encouragement and shared problem-solving can make a difference.

When Professional Support May Be Needed

If your child’s difficulties persist or begin to affect their mood, health, or relationships, it may be time to connect with outside help. School counselors, learning specialists, or therapists can offer strategies, accommodations, and a listening ear. Recognizing when its time to seek help from professionals is another way to model self-advocacy and lifelong learning.

If you are interested in related topics, you may also wish to visit our study habits resources for more guidance.

Related Resources

• When To Seek Help For Your Child – AACAP (American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry)
• Should I Get Care for My Child? – Child Mind Institute
• Knowing When to Seek Treatment for Behavioral or Mental Health Concerns About Your Child – Texas Children’s Hospital

Tutoring Support

K12 Tutoring is here to support your family every step of the way. Our experienced tutors understand the unique needs of neurodivergent learners and are committed to helping your child build confidence, resilience, and essential skills for high school success. Whether your teen needs a safe space to ask questions or guidance on developing self-advocacy, we are ready to help you both navigate this important journey.

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].