Parent strategies for talking with high school teachers

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Supporting Struggling Learners in High School

Many parents of struggling learners feel uncertain or anxious about reaching out to high school teachers, especially when their teen is facing academic or emotional hurdles. If you notice your child losing motivation, missing assignments, or feeling overwhelmed, you are not alone. High school brings new pressures, and even the most caring students can struggle. Open, supportive communication with teachers can make a real difference. This guide offers parent strategies for talking with high school teachers, with a focus on self-advocacy, empathy, and practical coaching for parents whose teens need extra support.

Why Communication Matters: The Foundation of Self-Advocacy

Experts in child development note that strong parent-teacher partnerships are linked to better outcomes for students, especially those who struggle. When parents communicate openly with teachers, they model self-advocacy skills that teens will need as they move toward independence. Many teachers and parents report that regular, respectful conversations help address problems early, prevent misunderstandings, and support students’ confidence. High school is a time when teens need to learn how to speak up for themselves, but they still rely on your guidance and advocacy.

Parent Strategies for Talking with High School Teachers: What Works and Why

Effective parent strategies for talking with high school teachers begin with preparation. Before reaching out, take some time to reflect on your child’s needs, strengths, and current challenges. Ask your teen how they feel about school and what, if anything, they want you to communicate to their teachers. This not only honors your teen’s voice, but also builds trust and encourages self-advocacy.

• Start with a positive intention: Approach teachers as partners. Open with something your child enjoys about the class or a recent success, before discussing challenges.
• Be clear and specific: Share concrete observations, such as “My child is spending two hours on homework each night but is still missing assignments,” instead of general statements.
• Listen actively: Give teachers space to share their perspective. You might say, “I would appreciate hearing your observations about my child’s participation.”
• Ask for solutions and next steps: Frame concerns with a collaborative spirit. Try, “What strategies have worked with other students in similar situations?” or “How can we work together to support my child?”
• Follow up and maintain communication: After your initial conversation, check in periodically. A short thank you email or update shows you value the partnership.

Remember that teachers are often managing large classes and many responsibilities. A respectful, organized approach can make your requests easier for them to address and signals that you are working together for your child’s benefit.

Navigating Emotional Barriers: Overcoming Worry and Defensiveness

It is common for parents to feel nervous when contacting teachers, especially if their child is struggling. You might worry about being judged, or fear that your concerns will not be taken seriously. Teens may also feel embarrassed or resistant to parent involvement at this age. Normalize these feelings—many parents experience them. One helpful strategy is to write down your goals for the conversation before reaching out. This helps keep the focus on your child’s well-being, rather than emotions or blame.

Another tip is to practice active listening. If a teacher offers feedback that is surprising or difficult to hear, pause and ask clarifying questions. You can say, “Can you share an example of when this happened?” or “What signs of progress have you noticed?” This approach keeps the conversation constructive and solution-focused.

How Parents Talk with Teachers: Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

• Waiting until there is a crisis: Instead, reach out early if you notice patterns of struggle. Proactive contact shows you care and want to help.
• Focusing only on problems: Start and end conversations with positive observations about your child.
• Using accusatory language: Use “I notice” or “I wonder” statements instead of “You never” or “My child says you…”
• Not involving your teen: Whenever possible, include your child in the process, or share plans with them, to encourage self-advocacy.

Learning how parents talk with teachers effectively takes practice, but each conversation builds your confidence and strengthens your role as your child’s advocate.

Grade 9–12 Guide: Communicating with Teachers for Struggling Learners

High school students often have multiple teachers, making communication more complex. Here are some grade-band specific suggestions:

• Organize information: Keep a notebook or digital folder with teacher contact info, assignment calendars, and previous communications. This helps you track patterns and follow up as needed.
• Use the right channels: Many high school teachers prefer email for non-urgent concerns. Some use online portals for communication. Respect teachers’ preferences and check school guidelines.
• Encourage direct communication: Gradually coach your teen to ask questions or email teachers themselves, with your support. For example, help draft a message together before your teen sends it.
• Attend conferences and events: Parent-teacher conferences, back-to-school nights, and open houses are opportunities to build rapport and show your engagement.

If your child has an IEP or 504 Plan, request regular updates and clarify how accommodations are being implemented. If you need more support with self-advocacy or executive function, explore resources like self-advocacy skill-building or executive function coaching for parents and students.

Mini-Scenarios: Real-Life Parent-Teacher Conversations

• Scenario 1: Your child’s grades in math have dropped suddenly. You email the teacher: “I noticed my child is having a tougher time in math this quarter. She’s feeling discouraged and unsure how to improve. Could we set up a short meeting to discuss what you’ve observed and possible strategies to help her succeed?”
• Scenario 2: Your son is often late with English assignments. You call his teacher: “I am concerned about my son’s late assignments. He says he gets overwhelmed by the reading load. Have you noticed this in class? Are there resources or supports that might help?”
• Scenario 3: Your teen feels anxious about public speaking in history class. You reach out: “My daughter has anxiety about speaking in front of the class, which makes presentations difficult for her. Have you seen this? How do you support students with similar challenges?”

Each scenario uses parent strategies for talking with high school teachers that are clear, empathetic, and solution-focused. They open the door to partnership, rather than confrontation.

Definitions

Self-advocacy: The ability to speak up for your own needs, ask for help, and communicate effectively with others to solve problems.

Executive function: A set of mental skills that help people manage time, stay organized, remember instructions, and control impulses.

Related Resources

• Better Communication with Families Starts with the Basics
• Teacher-Parent Communication Strategies to Start the Year Off Right
• How to Guide Students in Grades 3-8 to Self-Advocacy

Tutoring Support

If you find that your child continues to struggle despite your communication with teachers, you are not alone. K12 Tutoring offers guidance and personalized support for students and families navigating academic challenges. Our experienced tutors work with you and your child to build skills, confidence, and a positive mindset for success.

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].