Guide to communicating with teachers in high school

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Supporting Neurodivergent Learners in High School Communication

Many parents of neurodivergent learners—such as those with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, or learning differences—notice that communicating with teachers in high school can be especially challenging for their children. High school brings new expectations for independence, self-advocacy, and complex social dynamics. This guide to communicating with teachers in high school addresses these concerns with empathy and practical strategies, so you can help your child thrive in their academic journey.

Definitions

Self-advocacy: The ability to understand and communicate one’s needs, strengths, and challenges in order to seek support and make informed decisions.

Neurodivergent: Describes individuals whose brains process information differently, which may include people with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or other learning differences.

Why Communication Matters for High School Success

During high school, students are expected to take more responsibility for their learning, including interacting directly with teachers about assignments, grades, and accommodations. A strong guide to communicating with teachers in high school helps parents support their children through the transition from middle school, where parental involvement is often higher, to a setting that values student independence. Experts in child development note that open communication with teachers not only improves academic outcomes but also builds resilience and self-confidence in teens.

Common Barriers: What Makes Communicating with Teachers Difficult?

Many teachers and parents report that high school students, especially those who are neurodivergent, may feel nervous, overwhelmed, or unsure about approaching teachers. Some common barriers include:

• Anxiety about speaking up: Worry about saying the wrong thing or being misunderstood.
• Sensory overload: Busy classrooms or crowded hallways can make communication stressful for some students.
• Difficulty organizing thoughts: Neurodivergent students may struggle to plan what to say or remember details.
• Past negative experiences: Fear of being dismissed or not taken seriously can discourage students from reaching out.

This guide to communicating with teachers in high school offers step-by-step solutions to address these barriers and build your child’s confidence.

How High School Students Talk with Teachers: What Works Best?

For neurodivergent learners, effective communication often starts with clear routines and preparation. Here is how high school students talk with teachers most successfully:

• Prepare talking points: Encourage your child to jot down key questions or concerns before approaching a teacher. This can be on paper or digitally.
• Choose the right time: Sometimes, before or after class is too rushed. Suggest emailing ahead to request a meeting or using office hours for one-on-one time.
• Practice self-advocacy phrases: Role-play common scenarios with your child, such as “I am having trouble with this assignment. Can you help me understand it better?”
• Use written communication: For students who find face-to-face conversations stressful, emailing teachers is a valid and effective approach.

Experts recommend helping your child practice these steps at home, so they feel more comfortable using them in school. Over time, these skills will become more natural and less anxiety-provoking.

Parent Question: What Should I Do if My Teen Avoids Talking to Teachers?

Many parents wonder, “What if my child does not want to talk to their teachers at all?” This is a common concern, especially for neurodivergent students who may have experienced frustration or misunderstanding in the past. Start by validating your child’s feelings. Explain that it is normal to feel nervous, and share that even adults sometimes feel unsure about reaching out for help. Collaboratively brainstorm small, manageable steps—such as writing a draft email together or practicing a brief script. Remind your child that teachers are there to support them and want to help them succeed. If your child has an IEP or 504 Plan, you can also reach out to case managers or special education staff to help facilitate initial conversations.

Self-Advocacy Skills: Encouraging Independence in High School

Part of the guide to communicating with teachers in high school is encouraging your child to speak up for themselves. Self-advocacy is not just about asking for help; it is about understanding one’s own learning style, challenges, and needs. You can help by:

• Modeling calm, respectful communication at home.
• Giving your child opportunities to make decisions and practice negotiation skills.
• Celebrating small wins—like sending a question to a teacher or attending office hours.
• Discussing the importance of persistence and how to follow up if an issue is not resolved right away.

To learn more about building self-advocacy and related skills, you may find our Self advocacy resources helpful.

High School Communication Challenges: Real-Life Scenarios

• Scenario 1: Your child forgets to turn in assignments because they misunderstood the instructions. Together, you help them write an email to the teacher asking for clarification and an extension. The teacher responds positively, and your child feels empowered to ask for help again in the future.
• Scenario 2: A neurodivergent student feels overwhelmed during group discussions and cannot speak up. You encourage them to schedule a private meeting with the teacher or use written notes to communicate their thoughts. Over time, with support, they gain confidence in sharing their ideas.
• Scenario 3: Your child is nervous about requesting accommodations. You practice role-playing the conversation at home and prepare a short list of needs. The teacher appreciates the clear communication and works with your family to provide support.

These examples show how the guide to communicating with teachers in high school can be adapted to unique needs and situations.

Tips for Parents: How to Coach Your Teen

• Normalize communication: Remind your child that everyone needs help sometimes.
• Break it down: Focus on one small communication goal at a time.
• Use scripts: Draft sample emails or conversation starters together.
• Encourage reflection: After interactions, discuss what went well and what could be improved.
• Stay involved but not overbearing: Check in regularly, but let your child take the lead when possible.

Many teachers and parents report that students who develop these skills early are better prepared for college, work, and life beyond high school.

Communication Strategies for Neurodivergent High School Students

• Visual supports: Use checklists, calendars, or visual reminders to help your child remember when to talk to teachers.
• Written templates: Create reusable email templates for common requests, such as extensions or clarification on assignments.
• Peer support: Encourage your child to practice communication skills with a trusted friend or sibling before approaching teachers.
• Teacher allies: Identify one or two teachers who are especially supportive and encourage your child to seek their guidance first.

The guide to communicating with teachers in high school emphasizes that these strategies can be tailored for each student’s preferences and strengths.

When and How Should Parents Step In?

As your child grows older, it is important to gradually shift responsibility for communication to them. However, there are times when parent involvement is appropriate—such as when issues are not resolved, your child’s needs are not being met, or there are concerns about safety or discrimination. In these cases, reach out to teachers in a collaborative, respectful way. Frame your communication around supporting your child’s growth and partnership with the school.

Celebrating Progress: Building Confidence Over Time

Every step your child takes towards independent communication is a success. Celebrate their efforts, even if the conversation did not go perfectly. Remind them that learning how to advocate for themselves is a process. Over time, the guide to communicating with teachers in high school will help your child build the resilience and confidence needed for future challenges.

Tutoring Support

At K12 Tutoring, we understand that every student is unique. Our tutors are experienced in supporting neurodivergent learners and can provide personalized coaching on communication skills, self-advocacy, and more. We work together with families to help students build confidence, independence, and academic success—one conversation at a time.

Related Resources

• Teaching K-12 Students to Self-Advocate During Distance Learning
• How to Break Down Communication Barriers Between Teachers and Families
• How To Respond to Bad Teachers – Parents.com

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].