Common mistakes high schoolers make when emailing teachers

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Neurodivergent Learners and Email Communication

Many parents of neurodivergent high schoolers notice that written communication, especially with teachers, can bring extra challenges. Whether your child has ADHD, autism, or another learning difference, processing instructions and expressing needs in writing may feel overwhelming or confusing. It is important to know that struggles with email etiquette are common and not a sign of lack of effort. With the right strategies and encouragement, your child can develop stronger self-advocacy and communication skills—skills that build independence and academic confidence.

Definitions

Self-advocacy means speaking up for your needs, asking for help, and communicating clearly with others—skills that are especially important for success in high school and beyond.

Email etiquette refers to the unwritten rules and best practices for writing respectful and clear emails, especially in professional or academic settings.

Understanding Common Mistakes High Schoolers Make Emailing Teachers

In today’s digital classroom, communicating with teachers by email is a key self-advocacy skill. However, many families notice common mistakes high schoolers make emailing teachers, especially when students are still learning what is expected. These mistakes can lead to misunderstandings, missed opportunities for support, and even increased anxiety about asking for help. Experts in child development note that clear and effective communication with teachers not only improves academic outcomes, but also builds lifelong confidence. Here are some of the most frequent missteps and what they can look like for different learners.

Grade 9-12 Self-Advocacy: What Gets in the Way?

• Vague subject lines: Many students use one-word subjects like “Help” or “Question,” or leave the subject line blank. This makes it hard for teachers to prioritize or find emails later.
• No greeting or closing: Skipping a polite opening or forgetting to sign off can make emails feel abrupt or impersonal. Some neurodivergent students may not realize these social cues are expected in email, not just in person.
• Unclear requests: Students often write long explanations without stating their actual question, or they write too briefly, leaving teachers unsure how to respond.
• Emotional tone: High schoolers sometimes express frustration, disappointment, or anxiety in ways that seem disrespectful or overly blunt in writing, even if that was not their intention.
• Typos, slang, or text-speak: Using abbreviations, emojis, or skipping punctuation can confuse teachers and make emails seem less formal than they should be in school contexts.
• Forgetting attachments or details: Many students mention an attached file or specific assignment, but forget to actually attach it or give enough information for the teacher to help.
• Not following up: Some students do not reply to teacher responses or do not check their inbox regularly, leading to missed instructions or opportunities for clarification.

Why Are These Mistakes So Common?

Many teachers and parents report that students, especially those with executive function challenges, are not always taught email etiquette in school. Neurodivergent learners may process social cues differently or need explicit instruction on the steps involved in digital communication. For example, a student with ADHD might forget to proofread or follow up, while a student with autism might interpret instructions literally and miss implied expectations. It is normal for teens to feel self-conscious or nervous about reaching out to teachers, especially if they have faced misunderstandings in the past. Building these skills is a gradual process.

Parent Question: How Can I Coach My Child Through Email Mistakes?

Parents often ask how they can help their high schooler avoid the common mistakes high schoolers make emailing teachers without taking over the process. Here are some steps you can use at home to foster independence and confidence:

• Model and practice: Show your child examples of effective emails, and practice writing drafts together before sending. Remind them that it is okay to ask for feedback.
• Break it down: Use checklists or sentence starters to structure emails (“Dear Ms. Lee, I am writing to ask about…”). This supports students who have difficulty organizing thoughts.
• Role-play misunderstandings: Discuss how different tones or missing details could be interpreted, and brainstorm ways to clarify or repair communication if needed.
• Encourage follow-up: Remind your child to reply when a teacher responds, even with a brief thank you or confirmation. This builds professional habits.
• Celebrate effort: Recognize progress and persistence rather than perfection. Each attempt is a step toward mastery.

Email Tips for High School Students: Building Better Communication Habits

For parents of neurodivergent high schoolers, establishing routines and visual supports can make email communication less stressful. Here are some practical email tips for high school students:

• Create a template or checklist for each step: subject, greeting, clear question, details, polite closing, and proofreading.
• Set a weekly reminder to check school email, so important messages are not missed.
• Use color-coding or folders to organize emails by class or urgency.
• Encourage your child to read the email out loud before sending, to catch tone or clarity issues.
• Remind your child that asking for clarification is a sign of maturity, not weakness.

For more strategies on executive function and organization, visit our Executive function resources.

Building Confidence and Independence in Email Communication

Learning to avoid the common mistakes high schoolers make emailing teachers is not about being perfect—it is about growing more comfortable with self-advocacy and respectful communication. Support from parents makes a difference, especially for neurodivergent students who may need more explicit coaching or reassurance. As your child practices these skills, they will be better prepared for college, jobs, and adult life, where digital communication is essential. If mistakes happen, remind your child: everyone is learning, and teachers appreciate students who try their best and communicate honestly.

Tutoring Support

K12 Tutoring partners with families to help students build real-world communication and self-advocacy skills. Our tutors work alongside you and your child, providing individualized coaching for email etiquette, organization, and confidence, whether your child is neurodivergent or simply needs a boost. Together, we can help your child overcome challenges and thrive in every aspect of their education journey.

Further Reading

• Developing a Good Communication Plan for Students and Families
• 7 Things to Tell the Teacher About Your Child
• How to Break Down Communication Barriers Between Teachers and Families

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].