Building students to speak up with confidence

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Supporting Neurodivergent Learners in High School

Many parents of neurodivergent learners notice that their high schoolers may struggle to speak up or communicate their needs, especially in classroom environments. Whether your child is autistic, has ADHD, or experiences other forms of neurodiversity, their journey to self-expression is unique. Building neurodivergent learners to speak up involves recognizing their strengths and creating spaces where their voices are valued. High school can be an exciting but challenging time for neurodivergent students, especially as academic and social demands grow. By understanding your child’s communication style and advocating for supportive strategies, you help set the stage for their confidence and independence.

Definitions

Self-Advocacy: Self-advocacy means recognizing and communicating one’s own needs, preferences, and rights, especially in academic settings. For high school students, it includes speaking up for accommodations and asking for help when needed.

Neurodivergent Learners: Neurodivergent learners are students whose brains function differently from what is typically expected. This includes those with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and similar profiles. These differences shape how they learn and communicate.

Building Neurodivergent Learners to Speak Up: Why It Matters

Building neurodivergent learners to speak up is one of the most valuable skills you can nurture during your child’s high school years. When students feel confident expressing their needs, they are more likely to access the support that helps them thrive. Experts in child development note that self-advocacy is not only linked to improved academic performance, but also to greater self-esteem and resilience. For neurodivergent learners, who may face additional hurdles in communication, learning to speak up can transform school from a source of stress into a place of belonging.

Many teachers and parents report that when students begin to self-advocate, classroom relationships improve and misunderstandings decrease. High school is a key time for practicing these skills, as students prepare for increased independence in college, work, and life. By focusing on building neurodivergent learners to speak up, you help your child develop lifelong habits of self-awareness and self-reliance.

What Gets in the Way? Emotional Barriers to Speaking Up

It is common for neurodivergent high schoolers to experience anxiety or worry about communicating with teachers. Some may fear being misunderstood, judged, or even penalized for asking for help. Others may not know how to put their needs into words. For parents, recognizing these emotional barriers is the first step in offering support. Remind your child that almost everyone feels nervous sometimes about speaking up, especially in high-pressure environments like high school classrooms.

Scenario: Imagine your child hesitates to tell a teacher they need more time on a test. They might worry it will make them look unprepared. By naming these worries and normalizing them, you can help your child realize that advocating for themselves is not a weakness, but a strength. Many students benefit from practicing these conversations at home before facing them at school.

Coaching Tips: How Parents Can Support Communication with Teachers

• Model Open Conversations: Let your child see you ask questions and express needs in daily life, whether at home, with family, or in the community. This shows that it is normal to seek support.
• Practice Together: Role-play common classroom scenarios. For example, practice what your child might say if they need clarification on an assignment or extra time on a project.
• Create Scripts: Help your child write out or rehearse simple scripts for common situations. Phrases like “I am having trouble understanding this part” or “Can we talk about my IEP accommodations?” can make starting a conversation less intimidating.
• Encourage Small Steps: Celebrate every attempt at self-advocacy, not just the big successes. Even sending an email to a teacher can boost your child’s confidence.
• Partner with Teachers: Reach out to teachers early in the semester to share insights about your child’s communication style. Many educators appreciate knowing how to support neurodivergent learners.

High School Student Self-Advocacy: What Does It Look Like?

High school student self-advocacy often starts with small moments. It might be your child asking for help with a confusing assignment, or letting a teacher know when they need a break. Over time, these moments add up, building your child’s ability to navigate more complex situations, such as requesting accommodations or speaking up in group projects. Encourage your child to notice what works for them and to reflect on each experience. Did their teacher respond kindly? Did they feel heard? These reflections help shape future advocacy efforts.

For more ideas about building these skills, visit our self-advocacy resources.

Grade-Specific Guide: Communicating with Teachers in High School

• Ninth Grade: Many students are adjusting to a larger, more complex school environment. Remind your child that it is okay to ask questions about schedules, assignments, or classroom routines.
• Tenth Grade: Encourage self-reflection. Ask your child to identify which classes or teachers feel comfortable and why. Use those positive experiences as models for other situations.
• Eleventh Grade: This is often a year of increased academic pressure. Support your child in reaching out early if they feel overwhelmed, especially in AP or honors classes.
• Twelfth Grade: As your child prepares for life after high school, focus on independence. Help them practice emailing teachers, attending meetings, and advocating for their needs in preparation for college or work environments.

Common Mistakes Parents and Students Make—and How to Avoid Them

• Waiting Too Long to Speak Up: Sometimes students hope problems will go away on their own. Remind your child that early communication prevents bigger issues later.
• Assuming Teachers Know: Teachers want to help, but may not always recognize when your child is struggling. Encourage clear, direct communication.
• Trying to Handle Everything Alone: Remind your child that it is okay to ask for help, both from adults at school and at home. Collaboration leads to better solutions.
• Over-Apologizing: Some neurodivergent learners may apologize excessively when asking for support. Practice phrasing requests confidently, without unnecessary apologies.

Parent Q&A: “What if My Child Is Still Reluctant to Speak Up?”

This is a common concern. Building neurodivergent learners to speak up is a journey, not a quick fix. If your child continues to feel anxious, consider these steps:

• Check in regularly about how things are going at school. Use open-ended questions rather than yes/no prompts.
• Reach out to your school’s counselor or special education team for additional support. Sometimes a trusted adult at school can help bridge the gap.
• Explore social skills groups or peer mentoring programs designed for neurodivergent teens.
• Remind your child that progress is not always linear. Celebrate persistence and effort, not just results.

It is okay if your child needs extra time or support. Every step toward self-advocacy is worth celebrating.

Building Neurodivergent Learners to Speak Up: Long-Term Benefits

When you invest time in building neurodivergent learners to speak up, you are supporting not only academic success, but also emotional well-being. Confident communication skills help students manage stress, form positive relationships, and feel empowered to pursue their goals. Over time, your child will become more comfortable asking for what they need and contributing their unique perspective in group settings.

Many parents find that as their children grow more confident, they begin to advocate for themselves in new areas—whether it is in extracurricular activities, part-time jobs, or family discussions. The ability to speak up is a lifelong asset, and your support makes a lasting difference.

For additional confidence-building ideas, visit our confidence-building resources.

Tutoring Support

K12 Tutoring understands the unique needs of neurodivergent learners and partners with families to strengthen self-advocacy and communication skills. Our tutors are trained to provide patient, individualized coaching, helping students practice speaking up in a supportive environment. Whether your child is just beginning to self-advocate or ready to take the next step, we are here to help your family every step of the way.

Related Resources

• How to Work Well With Your Child’s Teacher
• Teacher-Parent Communication Strategies to Start the Year Off Right – Edutopia
• A New Look at the Parent-Teacher Conference

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].