Mistakes students make setting goals on their own

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Neurodivergent Learners and Goal Setting

Parents of neurodivergent high schoolers often notice unique challenges when their child sets goals independently. Whether your teen has ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or another learning difference, the process of defining and sticking to goals can feel overwhelming. Many parents worry about pushing too hard or not enough. It is normal to feel unsure. Neurodivergent learners may need extra support with organization, time management, and breaking down big ideas into smaller steps. With understanding and the right tools, your child can learn to set and achieve meaningful goals—on their own terms.

Mistakes students make setting goals on their own: A parent guide

As a parent, you want to see your child thrive and grow in confidence. But many high schoolers, especially those with unique learning needs, stumble when trying to set goals for themselves. In fact, experts in child development note that mistakes students make setting goals on their own are extremely common and not a sign of laziness or lack of ambition. Instead, these mistakes often reflect gaps in executive function skills, self-awareness, or simply experience. Recognizing these patterns can help you offer better support and encouragement at home.

What do “mistakes students make setting goals on their own” look like?

Many teachers and parents report that high school students, particularly neurodivergent learners, fall into a few predictable traps:

• Setting vague or unrealistic goals (“I want to do better in school” instead of “I will turn in all my math homework this month”).
• Losing motivation quickly because goals feel too big or unclear.
• Forgetting to track progress or celebrate small wins.
• Feeling overwhelmed by setbacks and giving up early.
• Comparing themselves to others rather than focusing on personal growth.

These mistakes can create cycles of frustration and self-doubt. If you have noticed these patterns in your child, you are not alone. Many parents are concerned by mistakes students make setting goals on their own, especially when their child seems capable but struggles to follow through.

SMART Goals for Students: Why Structure Matters

One powerful way to help high school students set goals is by introducing the SMART framework. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Instead of open-ended wishes, SMART goals provide a clear roadmap and checkpoints along the way. This structure is especially helpful for neurodivergent learners, who may need extra clarity to stay on track.

• Specific: Clearly state what your child wants to achieve (“Read two novels for English class”).
• Measurable: Define how progress will be tracked or measured (“Complete one chapter each week”).
• Achievable: Set realistic goals that are within your child’s reach.
• Relevant: Ensure the goal matters to your child and fits their interests or needs.
• Time-bound: Set a deadline or timeline for completion.

When students skip these steps, mistakes students make setting goals on their own become more frequent. For example, a neurodivergent teen might say, “I want to get better at math,” but without breaking it into manageable and specific steps, they are likely to feel lost or discouraged.

High School and SMART Goals: What Parents Can Do

In the high school years, goal setting takes on new importance. Academic demands, extracurriculars, and growing independence all add complexity. For neurodivergent students, these changes can make it even harder to set and achieve goals without help. Here are ways parents can make a difference:

• Co-create goals: Sit down together and discuss what your child wants to achieve. Use open-ended questions like, “What is something you are proud of this semester?” or “What would you like to try next?”
• Visual supports: Many neurodivergent learners benefit from visual aids like goal charts, checklists, or digital planners.
• Break tasks into steps: Help your child divide big goals into smaller, actionable pieces. For example, “Study for the SAT” becomes “Review vocabulary for 10 minutes after dinner, three times a week.”
• Encourage reflection: Celebrate progress, even if it is small. Talk about what worked, what did not, and how to adjust next time.

By modeling these strategies, you empower your child to avoid common mistakes students make setting goals on their own and build stronger self-advocacy.

Parent Question: How do I help my neurodivergent child set realistic goals?

It is natural to wonder where to step in and when to let your teen take ownership. Try these steps:

1. Start with strengths: Ask your child what they feel good about, and use those strengths as a launching point for new goals.
2. Normalize setbacks: Remind your child that mistakes and slow progress are part of learning. Share examples from your own life or stories of others who overcame challenges.
3. Make it collaborative: Instead of telling your child what their goals should be, invite them to brainstorm ideas and choose what feels meaningful.
4. Use reminders and routines: For students who struggle with executive function or memory, gentle reminders and consistent check-ins can make a big difference.
5. Access outside support: Sometimes a tutor, school counselor, or coach can offer additional structure and encouragement. Explore resources like goal-setting tools from K12 Tutoring for more ideas.

Definitions

SMART Goals: A goal-setting method that ensures objectives are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound, making them clearer and easier to track.

Executive Function: Mental skills that include working memory, flexible thinking, and self-control, which help students manage time, plan, and organize tasks.

Related Resources

• SMART Goal Setting With Your Students – Edutopia
• Boost Online Learning: SMART Goals for Middle Schoolers
• SMART Goals and Kids’ Mental Health – Kids Mental Health Foundation

Tutoring Support

K12 Tutoring is here to support your family with expert guidance and proven strategies for goal setting, executive function, and confidence building. Our tutors understand the needs of neurodivergent learners and partner with you to nurture growth, resilience, and independence at every step.

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].