Goal setting mistakes students often make early on

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Supporting Neurodivergent Learners in Goal Setting

Many parents of neurodivergent children notice that goal setting can feel overwhelming for their child. Neurodivergent learners, including those with ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, or learning differences, often experience unique challenges with planning, focus, and self-organization. These challenges can make goal setting mistakes students often make early on more frequent or more discouraging. The good news is that these struggles are normal and there are positive, practical ways for parents to help their children build resilient goal setting habits from the ground up.

Definitions

Goal setting is the process of identifying something your child wants to achieve and creating a plan to reach that outcome. SMART goals are goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. This approach helps make goals clearer and more manageable, especially for elementary school students.

Why Do Young Students Struggle with Goal Setting?

Many teachers and parents report that it is common for elementary school children to experience challenges with goal setting. For neurodivergent learners, difficulties with executive function skills, like organizing thoughts and following through on steps, can make setting and reaching goals feel especially tricky. Experts in child development note that even neurotypical students are still developing the self-awareness and planning skills needed for effective goal setting. For neurodivergent children, these skills may take longer to strengthen and often require extra support at home and in school.

Common Student Goal Setting Errors: What Parents See at Home

When your child first starts thinking about goals, it is normal for mistakes to happen. Some of the most frequent goal setting mistakes students often make early on include:

• Setting goals that are too big or too vague. For example, a child might say, “I want to get better at math” but not know what “better” looks like.
• Choosing goals based on what others want. Sometimes, children set goals because a teacher or parent suggested it, not because it is meaningful to them. This can lead to a lack of motivation.
• Forgetting to break goals into smaller steps. Without manageable steps, a goal can seem impossible, leading to frustration or giving up quickly.
• Not tracking progress or celebrating small wins. Children may not check in on how they are doing or notice when they are making progress, which can cause them to lose interest.
• Underestimating how long things take. Young students and neurodivergent children often struggle to predict how much time and effort a goal will require, leading to disappointment.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step to helping your child build stronger, more effective goal setting habits.

How Can Parents Help Neurodivergent Children Avoid Early Goal Setting Mistakes?

If you notice your child is frustrated, discouraged, or uninterested in setting goals, you are not alone. Here are practical ways to help your neurodivergent learner navigate the goal setting mistakes students often make early on, and replace them with positive routines:

• Model simple, specific goals. Share your own small, achievable goals (such as “I want to read three pages of my book tonight”). This demonstrates what clear, realistic goal setting looks like.
• Use visual supports. Visual aids like charts, stickers, or checklists help make the steps toward a goal more concrete, especially for children who think in pictures or who benefit from structure.
• Break down big goals. Help your child turn a large goal into several smaller steps. Instead of “get better at math,” try “practice math facts for 10 minutes each day.” Celebrate progress after each step.
• Connect goals to interests. If your child loves animals, set a reading goal using books about wildlife. When goals feel relevant, motivation grows.
• Use positive language. Focus on what your child can do, not just what they struggle with. “You finished your reading practice today!” is more encouraging than “You still have more to do.”
• Allow flexibility and mistakes. Remind your child that it is okay to adjust goals or try again. Mistakes are part of learning.
• Check in regularly. Set aside a few minutes each week to ask about progress, challenges, and feelings. These check-ins build self-awareness and perseverance.

Elementary School and SMART Goals: A Parent Guide

SMART goals are an excellent tool for neurodivergent elementary school students. Try using the SMART framework to help your child avoid the goal setting mistakes students often make early on. Here is how you can guide your child through each step:

• Specific: Encourage your child to pick one clear goal (“I want to finish my science project”).
• Measurable: Decide how you will both know the goal is achieved (“I will have all three parts of my project completed”).
• Achievable: Make sure the goal is realistic given your child’s schedule and needs.
• Relevant: Connect the goal to something your child cares about or needs for school.
• Time-bound: Set a deadline together (“I will finish by Friday afternoon”).

By following this process together, your child will practice breaking down big ideas into steps that feel doable. This helps prevent common student goal setting errors, building confidence and self-advocacy.

What if My Child Gets Stuck or Wants to Give Up?

It is common for children, especially those with learning differences, to feel stuck or want to quit when a goal feels hard. Your support can make all the difference. Try these parent-tested strategies:

• Remind your child that everyone faces setbacks and that mistakes are part of learning.
• Help your child adjust the goal or the steps if things are not working. For example, “Let’s try practicing spelling words for 5 minutes instead of 10.”
• Celebrate tiny progress, not just the finished product. High-fives, stickers, or a favorite activity can reinforce effort.
• Use encouraging words: “I see how hard you are working!” or “It is okay to take a break and try again later.”

If challenges persist, consider partnering with your child’s teacher or a tutor for extra support. You can also explore our goal setting resources for more ideas.

Building Long-Term Resilience Through Goal Setting

Learning how to set and achieve goals is a lifelong skill. By supporting your child through the goal setting mistakes students often make early on, you are helping them develop resilience, independence, and self-confidence. Over time, your child will learn that mistakes are not failures, but stepping stones toward success. With patience, encouragement, and the right tools, every child can become a confident goal setter.

Tutoring Support

K12 Tutoring understands that goal setting is a journey, especially for neurodivergent learners. Our tutors partner with families to build strategies that work for each child’s unique strengths and needs. If your child is struggling with goal setting mistakes students often make early on, or needs help developing executive function skills, we are here to guide you. Together, we can nurture habits that lead to lasting success and greater confidence at school and at home.

Related Resources

• 38 Examples of SMART Goals for Students – Helpful Professor
• SMART Goal Setting With Your Students – Edutopia
• SMART Goals and Kids’ Mental Health – Kids Mental Health Foundation

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].