Common mistakes with goals in high school

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Supporting Neurodivergent Learners with Goal Setting

For many parents of neurodivergent high school students, helping your child set and reach goals can feel overwhelming. Whether your teen is diagnosed with ADHD, autism, or a learning difference, the process of defining and achieving goals often involves unique hurdles. Neurodivergent learners may approach motivation, planning, and follow-through differently. It is important to celebrate your child’s individuality and recognize that common mistakes with goals in high school are not a sign of failure, but rather a part of their learning journey. With understanding and tailored strategies, your child can build confidence and resilience in their goal-setting habits.

Why Do High Schoolers Struggle with Goals?

Many parents notice that as teens enter high school, establishing and sticking to goals becomes more challenging. The structure provided in earlier grades begins to fade, while academic, social, and extracurricular demands increase. For neurodivergent learners, these transitions can make traditional goal-setting approaches feel inaccessible or frustrating. Experts in child development note that effective goal setting requires not only motivation, but also executive function skills—such as planning, organizing, and self-monitoring—that are still developing in adolescence. Understanding the root causes behind common mistakes with goals in high school can help you provide the right support.

Common Mistakes with Goals in High School: What Parents Should Watch For

It is natural for high school students to make errors as they learn to set and manage goals. Here are some of the most frequent missteps, especially among neurodivergent learners:

• Setting overly broad or vague goals: For example, a student might say, “I want to do better in school.” Without a clear target, it is hard to know when progress has been made or what steps to take.
• Choosing goals based on outside expectations: Teens sometimes pick goals to please others, such as aiming for a certain GPA because a parent or teacher suggested it, rather than because it matters to them. This can lead to low motivation.
• Underestimating challenges or time required: Many students, especially those with ADHD or executive function differences, intend to achieve big changes quickly. When results do not come right away, they may feel discouraged and give up.
• Forgetting to break goals into steps: A large goal, like “get an A in math,” can feel impossible without a plan for daily homework, test prep, and asking for help. This is a common source of overwhelm.
• Not tracking progress or adjusting goals: Without checkpoints, students may lose track of where they stand or fail to recognize when a goal needs to change. This can lead to feeling stuck or frustrated.

Recognizing these patterns gives you and your child the chance to reset and try new approaches.

What Is SMART Goal Setting for Students?

SMART goals help students move from broad intentions to clear, actionable plans. A SMART goal is:

• Specific: Clearly defines what your child wants to accomplish.
• Measurable: Includes a way to track progress or success.
• Achievable: Realistic given your child’s current skills and resources.
• Relevant: Personally meaningful to your child.
• Time-bound: Has a clear deadline or timeframe.

For example, instead of “I want to get better at science,” a SMART goal might be, “I will complete all my biology homework on time for the next four weeks and ask my teacher one question per week.”

Goal Setting Tips for Students: Making Adjustments for Neurodivergent Teens

Every student benefits from a different approach to goal setting, but for neurodivergent learners, flexibility and creativity are especially important. Here are some practical ways parents can help:

• Start with your child’s strengths and interests. If your teen loves art, set a goal tied to their creative projects before moving to academic areas.
• Use visuals and reminders. Calendars, checklists, and visual schedules can make goals easier to remember and less overwhelming.
• Break tasks into small, concrete steps. Instead of “write an essay,” begin with “brainstorm three ideas” or “write the introduction paragraph.”
• Celebrate small wins. Recognize effort and progress, not just the end result. This builds momentum and confidence.
• Model flexibility. If a goal is not working, help your child reflect and adjust it rather than abandoning the process. Many teachers and parents report that trial and error is a normal part of finding what works.
• Encourage self-advocacy. Help your child practice asking for help, whether from teachers, counselors, or peers. This skill is invaluable in high school and beyond. You can find more strategies in our self-advocacy resources.

How Can Parents Help Without Adding Pressure?

It is common for parents to wonder how much to get involved in their teen’s goal setting. Too little involvement may leave your child feeling unsupported, but too much can feel controlling. Here are some ways to strike a healthy balance:

• Ask open-ended questions. Instead of telling your child what goals to set, try asking, “What is something you would like to change this semester?”
• Share your own experiences. Talking about your challenges and successes with goals can make the process feel more relatable.
• Set up regular check-ins. A weekly conversation about progress and setbacks helps your child stay accountable in a low-pressure way.
• Normalize setbacks. Remind your child that struggling or resetting goals is common, especially in high school.

High School Goal Setting for Neurodivergent Students: A Parent’s Perspective

When supporting neurodivergent learners, patience and empathy are essential. For example, if your child has ADHD, they might forget assignments or lose motivation quickly. Instead of focusing on the mistake, praise them for coming to you for help or for trying again. Consider using school support systems such as IEPs or 504 Plans, and communicate regularly with teachers about progress and adjustments. Many parents find that celebrating progress rather than perfection helps reduce anxiety and builds resilience over time.

Definitions

Executive function: The mental skills that help people plan, organize, remember, and manage time and tasks. These skills are often still developing in teenagers and may be more challenging for neurodivergent learners.

Neurodivergent: A term used to describe individuals whose brains process information differently, such as those with ADHD, autism, or learning differences.

Tutoring Support

At K12 Tutoring, we understand that every high schooler’s journey—including the ups and downs of goal setting—is unique. Our supportive tutors work alongside parents and students to create personalized strategies, reinforce executive function skills, and nurture confidence. If your child is struggling with common mistakes with goals in high school, we are here to help with empathy, expertise, and a focus on growth. Explore our goal setting resources and reach out for guidance tailored to your child’s needs.

Related Resources

• How to Set SMART Goals and Family Expectations – Waterford.org
• How to Set SMART Goals for Kids’ Health, Nutrition, and Physical Activity – Greaux Healthy
• Identifying Goals – Overcoming Obstacles

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].