How parents can help set goals for their high schoolers?

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Supporting Neurodivergent High School Learners

Every child is unique, and this is especially true for neurodivergent learners. Whether your high schooler has ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or another neurodivergent identity, the typical approach to goal setting may not always fit. Many parents wonder how parents can help set goals for their high schoolers in ways that support their child’s strengths and needs. It is common to feel unsure or even frustrated when strategies that work for others do not bring the same results for your child. Remember, you are not alone. Many teachers and parents report that neurodivergent students benefit from clear routines, visual supports, and patient, step-by-step guidance as they work toward their goals. With the right strategies, your child can experience real progress and pride.

Definitions

Short-term goals are objectives that can be achieved in a few days or weeks, such as turning in all homework this week or preparing for a quiz. Long-term goals take more time and planning, like improving a GPA, making the varsity team, or preparing for college applications.

Goal setting is the process of identifying something you want to accomplish and mapping out the steps to get there. It is a skill that can be learned and improved with practice.

Why Goal Setting Matters for High Schoolers

High school is a time of growing independence, increased academic expectations, and big decisions. For neurodivergent students, this period can bring extra challenges with organization, time management, and motivation. Experts in child development note that setting clear, achievable goals helps students feel more in control and less anxious about the future. When you support your teen’s goal setting, you help them build essential skills for success inside and outside the classroom.

How Parents Can Help Set Goals for Their High Schoolers: Getting Started

Many parents ask how parents can help set goals for their high schoolers, especially when their children seem overwhelmed or unsure about the future. The first step is to have an open conversation. Ask your child what matters to them this year, both academically and personally. Listen carefully—sometimes their priorities may surprise you. Share your own thoughts, but let your child take the lead where possible. This helps them feel ownership and motivation.

• Start small: Suggest choosing one area to focus on, such as improving one class grade, joining a club, or managing homework more independently.
• Be specific: Instead of “do better in math,” try “complete every homework assignment on time this month.”
• Write it down: Use a notebook, whiteboard, or digital app to make the goal visible. Visual reminders help many neurodivergent learners stay on track.

Short- vs. Long-Term Goals: How They Work Together in High School

It is natural for high schoolers to focus on what feels urgent, like tomorrow’s quiz or this week’s essay. However, learning to balance short and long term goals builds resilience and planning skills. For example, a long-term goal might be “raise my GPA by the end of the year,” while short-term goals could be “study for 20 minutes each night” or “attend after-school tutoring twice a week.” By breaking big ambitions into manageable steps, your child experiences steady progress and fewer feelings of overwhelm.

• Example for neurodivergent learners: If your child struggles with focus, use timers for short study sessions and celebrate each completed session. Over time, these small wins add up to larger achievements.
• Linking goals: Help your child see how short-term efforts connect to their bigger dreams, like earning a spot in a college program or mastering a new skill.

Goal Setting for Neurodivergent High Schoolers: What Works Best?

For many neurodivergent teens, traditional goal-setting advice can feel overwhelming or unrealistic. Here are some strategies tailored for their needs:

• Use visual supports: Calendars, checklists, and color-coded planners can make steps concrete and less stressful.
• Break tasks down: Instead of “finish research paper,” try breaking it into “find three sources,” “write outline,” and “draft first paragraph.”
• Allow for flexibility: Some days will be harder than others. If a goal is not met, help your child reflect on what got in the way without judgment.
• Celebrate effort, not just outcomes: Acknowledge when your child tries, even if the result is not perfect. This builds confidence and motivation.

Parent Q&A: What If My Teen Resists Goal Setting?

It is common for high schoolers, especially those who are neurodivergent, to push back against structured goal setting. If your child says they do not need help or does not engage, try these approaches:

• Connect goals to interests: Frame goals around something your child enjoys, like improving at a favorite sport or game, rather than only academics.
• Offer choices: Let your teen pick from two or three possible goals, so they feel in control.
• Set shared goals: Work on a goal together, such as organizing a shared space or planning a family outing.
• Model the process: Talk about your own goals and how you handle setbacks. This shows your child that goal setting is a lifelong skill, not just a school requirement.

Common Mistakes Parents Make—And How to Avoid Them

• Setting goals that are too big: Ambitious goals can quickly feel impossible. Start with small, realistic steps.
• Focusing only on outcomes: Emphasize the learning and growth that come from the process, not just the final result.
• Comparing your child to others: Every learner is different. Celebrate your child’s unique progress.
• Giving up after setbacks: Mistakes are part of the journey. Encourage your child to reflect and adjust instead of quitting.

Coaching Tips: Turning Goals Into Daily Habits

• Use reminders: Set alarms or calendar alerts to help your child remember key steps.
• Check in regularly: Weekly conversations keep goals fresh and allow for troubleshooting.
• Offer encouragement: Notice effort and progress, not just when a goal is achieved.
• Adjust as needed: If a goal becomes too hard or too easy, help your child revise it.

For more strategies on building these foundational skills, check out our Goal setting resources.

Grade 9–12 Goal Setting: What Does Success Look Like?

Success in high school goal setting is not about perfection. For neurodivergent learners, it might mean building routines that reduce stress, learning to ask for help, or discovering the value of persistence. Many parents notice that, over time, their teens become more independent and confident as they practice these skills. Remember, your child’s journey will not look exactly like anyone else’s—and that is okay. What matters is steady progress and a sense of ownership over their own future.

Tutoring Support

K12 Tutoring understands the unique needs of neurodivergent high school students and their families. Our tutors can help your child break goals into manageable steps, build confidence, and develop the skills they need to succeed. We work alongside you to support your child’s growth, every step of the way.

Related Resources

• 3 Powerful Types of Parenting Goals That Will Change Your Life – Penn State Health ProWellness (Penn State PRO Wellness)
• Goal setting with kids – Children’s Health
• “Six Parent Tips on Goal Setting with Your Child” – Edmentum

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].