Parent guide to planning and prioritizing in middle school

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Supporting Neurodivergent Learners in Middle School

Middle school is a time of rapid change and growing independence. For neurodivergent learners, such as those with ADHD, autism, or learning differences, planning and prioritizing tasks can feel especially daunting. Many parents notice their child struggles to keep track of assignments, forgets due dates, or feels overwhelmed by multi-step projects. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. The parent guide to planning and prioritizing in middle school is designed with you in mind, offering practical, affirming strategies that respect every child’s unique strengths and differences.

What Does “Planning and Prioritizing” Mean in Middle School?

Planning is the ability to break tasks down, set steps, and estimate how long things will take. Prioritizing means deciding what needs to be done first and what can wait. In middle school, students encounter new academic and social demands. They juggle multiple classes, longer assignments, and more responsibility for managing their time. For neurodivergent learners, executive function skills like planning and prioritizing may develop at a different pace. Supportive routines and explicit teaching can help bridge the gap.

Why Do Middle Schoolers Struggle With Planning and Prioritizing?

Experts in child development note that executive function skills, including planning and prioritizing, are still forming during the middle years. The brain’s prefrontal cortex, which handles organization and self-management, continues to mature into early adulthood. Many teachers and parents report that middle schoolers—especially neurodivergent students—often feel overwhelmed when faced with open-ended assignments, group projects, or balancing homework with after-school activities.

It is normal for your child to struggle with these skills! Even students who seem organized at school may find it harder to manage tasks at home, where routines are less structured.

How Can Parents Help Middle School Students Prioritize?

You might wonder, “My child always leaves big projects until the last minute. What can I do to help middle school students prioritize?” Start by recognizing that prioritization is a skill that takes practice. Here are some steps you can try:

• Visualize tasks together: Use a whiteboard, sticky notes, or digital planner to list out assignments and commitments. Group tasks by subject or type.
• Rank by importance: Ask your child, “What is due soonest? Which task feels hardest?” Help them identify what needs attention first.
• Chunk big tasks: Break long projects into manageable steps. For example, “Research topic” comes before “Write first draft.”
• Build in buffers: Encourage starting early and leaving extra time for review or unexpected setbacks.
• Celebrate completion: Small wins matter. Acknowledge effort, not just outcomes—”You finished your outline today!”

Remember, these strategies may take time to click. Some days will go smoothly, others may not. Your calm, positive support makes a difference.

Executive Function Skills: Laying the Groundwork for Success

Executive function skills are the set of mental processes that help us plan, focus, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks. For neurodivergent learners, these skills may be uneven or develop later, but they can be strengthened with coaching and routines. Here are ways to foster executive function growth at home:

• Model planning out loud: Narrate your own process—”I am making a grocery list before I shop so I do not forget anything.”
• Use checklists: Create repeatable routines, such as “Pack backpack,” “Check planner,” or “Charge Chromebook.”
• Practice time estimation: Play games to guess how long tasks will take, then compare with reality. This builds realistic expectations.
• De-clutter the workspace: A clear, distraction-free area can help your child focus on one thing at a time.

For more resources on this topic, visit our executive function skills page.

Middle School Planning & Prioritization: What Does It Look Like?

The parent guide to planning and prioritizing in middle school is about finding systems that work for your unique child. Here are some everyday scenarios where planning and prioritization come into play, and how you might support them:

• Scenario 1: The forgotten assignment.
  Your child remembers a social studies project the night before it is due. Instead of reacting with frustration, help them list the steps needed and estimate what can realistically be done tonight. Afterwards, brainstorm together how to track upcoming due dates.
• Scenario 2: Too many tasks, not enough time.
  Your child feels overwhelmed by homework, soccer practice, and chores. Sit together and write out all tasks. Ask, “What needs to happen today? What could wait until tomorrow or the weekend?” This exercise teaches prioritization in real life.
• Scenario 3: Getting started is the hardest part.
  Initiating work can be tough, especially for neurodivergent learners. Try setting a timer for just five minutes of work to lower the barrier to beginning. Often, once started, momentum builds.

Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

• Doing it all for your child. It is tempting to rescue them, but real growth comes from scaffolding and gradually stepping back.
• Assuming one-size-fits-all. Some students prefer paper planners, others like apps. Let your child’s preferences guide the process.
• Overloading with too many tools. Keep systems simple. Too many calendars or checklists can cause confusion.
• Focusing only on grades. Celebrate effort, improvement, and perseverance as well as academic results.

How Can I Help My Middle Schooler Without Taking Over?

Many parents wonder how to walk the line between supporting and enabling. The parent guide to planning and prioritizing in middle school recommends these approaches:

• Collaborate, do not dictate: Ask open-ended questions instead of giving immediate solutions. For example, “What is your plan for finishing this project?”
• Set regular check-ins: A weekly family meeting can help your child reflect on what worked, what was hard, and what to try next week.
• Share stories: Remind your child that everyone learns at a different pace. Even adults struggle to juggle priorities sometimes.
• Encourage self-advocacy: Teach your child to ask teachers for clarification or extensions when needed. This builds confidence and responsibility.

Definitions

Planning: The process of breaking down tasks into steps, setting goals, and mapping out how to complete them.

Prioritization: Deciding which tasks are most important or urgent and tackling those before others.

Executive function: A group of mental skills that help with managing time, organizing, remembering, and controlling impulses.

Related Resources

• 10 Ways to Help Your Child Succeed in Middle School – KidsHealth
• Navigating Middle School is Tough: How Parents Can Help – Harvard Health Publishing
• A Parent’s Survival Guide to Middle School – TheParentCue.org

Tutoring Support

K12 Tutoring understands the unique challenges neurodivergent learners and their families face in the middle school years. Our experienced tutors use evidence-based strategies to help students develop stronger planning and prioritization skills, always honoring each child’s individuality and pace. Whether your child needs one-on-one support or just a confidence boost, our team is here to be a trusted partner on your journey.

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].