How can I use praise to build assurance in elementary school?

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Building Assurance for Neurodivergent Learners

For parents of neurodivergent children, emotional barriers like anxiety, frustration, or self-doubt can make school feel overwhelming. Many parents notice that their child may be more sensitive to criticism or discouraged by setbacks, even in early grades. Using praise to build assurance in elementary school is especially helpful for neurodivergent learners. Well-timed, meaningful praise helps reinforce strengths and encourages a sense of safety and belonging. This approach supports children with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, dyslexia, and other learning differences by validating their effort and nurturing resilience. When your child hears that their unique way of thinking is valued, it becomes easier for them to try new things and believe in their own abilities.

Definitions

Praise: Positive feedback or recognition given to a child for their behavior, effort, or achievements. Praise can be verbal, written, or shown through supportive gestures.

Positive reinforcement: A strategy that encourages desired behaviors by immediately rewarding or acknowledging them, increasing the chances the behavior will be repeated.

Why Praise Matters: The Science and Parent Perspective

Experts in child development note that praise is a powerful tool for shaping behavior and nurturing emotional growth. When children receive positive attention for their actions, their brains release dopamine, a chemical linked to motivation and happiness. Over time, this creates positive associations with learning and helps children overcome emotional barriers in school settings. Many teachers and parents report that children who receive regular, specific praise are more likely to stay engaged, work through frustration, and develop a growth mindset. For neurodivergent learners, who may face frequent academic or social challenges, using praise to build assurance in elementary school creates a foundation for confidence that lasts into later grades.

How Does Praise Build Assurance?

Assurance is the sense of security and confidence a child feels about their abilities and place in the world. For elementary school students, especially those with neurodivergent profiles, this can be fragile. Using praise to build assurance in elementary school works by helping children internalize their successes. When you recognize your child’s effort, creativity, or problem-solving, you communicate that they are capable, even when tasks feel difficult. Over time, this helps them approach challenges with less fear and more determination.

For example, after your child completes a puzzle, you might say, “I noticed how you kept trying different pieces until you found the right fit. That shows real persistence!” This type of praise draws attention to the process rather than just the outcome, reinforcing perseverance and self-worth.

Practical Positive Reinforcement Strategies for Parents

• Be specific. Instead of a general “Good job,” describe exactly what your child did well. Try, “You organized your backpack by yourself this morning. I’m proud of your responsibility.”
• Focus on effort, not just results. Recognize the steps your child took, like trying to read a new word or practicing math facts, rather than only celebrating perfect scores.
• Celebrate small wins. For neurodivergent learners, even minor progress in routines or behaviors (like remembering to raise a hand or sitting through a story) deserves recognition.
• Use nonverbal praise. High-fives, a smile, or a thumbs-up can reinforce positive behaviors, especially for children who are sensitive to too much verbal attention.
• Encourage self-praise. Ask, “How did you feel when you finished that project?” This helps your child notice their own growth and builds internal motivation.

Common Parent Questions About Praise

How often should I praise my child?

There is no strict rule, but regular, consistent praise is most effective. The key is to notice and acknowledge effort as it happens. Avoid overpraising or making every action a reason for celebration, as this can feel insincere. Instead, let your child know you see their unique strengths and progress.

What if my child does not respond to praise?

Some neurodivergent learners may seem uncomfortable with praise or even reject it. This is normal. In these cases, try using written notes, private affirmations, or nonverbal gestures. It may also help to discuss with your child how they prefer to receive feedback.

Can praise be unhelpful?

Praise can lose its impact if it is vague or used only to control behavior. Focus on authentic recognition that builds your child’s confidence through positive reinforcement, rather than comparisons to others or rewards for every small action.

Confidence Through Positive Reinforcement: Strategies for Grades K-5

Building confidence through positive reinforcement looks different at each stage of elementary school. For children in grades K-2, praise is most effective when it is immediate and concrete. For example, “You put your shoes on by yourself. Thank you for being so helpful!” In grades 3-5, children are more aware of social dynamics and may compare themselves to peers. Here, praise that highlights personal growth and effort helps children focus on their own progress. “I saw how you asked for help when you needed it. That takes courage.”

Using praise to build assurance in elementary school at every grade level supports neurodivergent learners by making success feel possible and setbacks less overwhelming. When parents and teachers work together to provide consistent, meaningful praise, children are more likely to develop lasting confidence and independence.

Overcoming Emotional Barriers: Real-Life Scenarios

• Scenario 1: Task avoidance. Your child is avoiding homework because it feels too hard. Instead of pushing, you say, “I noticed you sat down and opened your notebook, even though it was tough. That’s a brave first step.” This praise addresses effort, not just completion, and gently encourages persistence.
• Scenario 2: Sensory overload at school. After a noisy assembly, your child feels overwhelmed and withdraws. At home, you offer, “You told me the assembly was loud and you needed a break. I admire how you listened to your body.” This affirms self-advocacy and emotional awareness.
• Scenario 3: Social challenges. Your child struggles to join group play. After they say hello to a classmate, you quietly let them know, “I saw you greet your friend. That took a lot of courage. I’m proud of you for trying.”

Praise and Home-School Collaboration

Many teachers and parents report that children thrive when praise is consistent across home and school. If your child has an IEP or receives classroom supports, ask teachers how they use praise and positive reinforcement strategies. Share what works at home, and collaborate on ways to reinforce progress together. This approach helps children feel secure and understood in both environments. For more ideas on building confidence and positive routines, see our confidence-building resources.

Tutoring Support

Every child is unique, and finding the right praise strategies may take time. K12 Tutoring offers personalized guidance for parents and students, including support for neurodivergent learners who face emotional barriers. Our tutors can help you identify strengths, set realistic goals, and celebrate progress, making learning a more positive experience for your child.

Related Resources

• Center on PBIS – What is PBIS
• Maximizing Effectiveness of Child Praise – Baker Center
• Positive Reinforcement: Examples for Children – World of Little Dude

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].