Common mistakes teens make when anxious about school

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Supporting Struggling Learners with Academic Anxiety

Parents of struggling learners often notice their teens showing new worries, stress, or changes in behavior when school pressure rises. It is important to remember that these feelings are common and that many parents face the challenge of supporting a child dealing with school-related anxiety. By understanding the common mistakes teens make when anxious about school, you can better support your child in finding healthier ways to cope and regain confidence. Recognizing these patterns is not about blame, but about creating a caring environment where your teen feels safe to talk and learn new strategies.

Definitions

Academic anxiety refers to the feelings of worry or fear related to schoolwork, tests, or classroom performance. Overcoming academic anxiety means learning to manage or reduce these feelings so that school becomes a more positive and productive experience.

Understanding the Common Mistakes Teens Make When Anxious About School

Teens are navigating a complex academic and social world in high school. When anxiety sets in, it is not unusual for them to develop certain habits or patterns as coping mechanisms. According to experts in child development, anxiety can cloud decision-making and lead students to behaviors that unintentionally make school more difficult. Many teachers and parents report that these patterns appear most often during times of transition, exam periods, or after a disappointing grade.

The phrase “common mistakes teens make when anxious about school” is useful for parents to identify what to watch for. Recognizing these habits gives you a window into your child’s emotional state, and helps you provide the right support at the right time.

What Are the Most Common Mistakes Teens Make When Anxious About School?

• Avoiding assignments or studying: Many teens put off homework or projects when they feel overwhelmed. This avoidance is often a way to escape anxious feelings, but it usually leads to more stress as deadlines approach. For example, a student may ignore a big essay until the night before, then panic under pressure.
• Negative self-talk: When anxiety grows, teens may start telling themselves they are “bad at math” or “never do anything right.” This internal dialogue can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, lowering motivation and self-esteem.
• Withdrawing from support: Teens sometimes isolate themselves—refusing help from parents, teachers, or friends—because they feel embarrassed or hopeless. Many parents notice their child no longer asking questions in class or avoiding family conversations about school.
• Relying on last-minute fixes: Instead of using steady routines, anxious teens may try to “cram” for tests or finish big projects in one sitting. This can cause sleep problems and make anxiety worse.
• Comparing themselves to others: Teens might focus on classmates’ successes and feel they do not measure up, especially in today’s social media age. This comparison increases stress and discourages healthy risk-taking.

Each of these is a classic example among the common mistakes teens make when anxious about school. While these mistakes are understandable, they can create a cycle that makes school life even harder for struggling learners.

Overcoming Academic Anxiety: Building Confidence and Skills

Academic anxiety does not define your teen’s potential. Overcoming academic anxiety requires a combination of self-awareness, skill-building, and emotional support. As a parent, your encouragement and understanding are essential. Here are several strategies to help your high schooler move past the common mistakes teens make when anxious about school:

• Encourage small, manageable goals: Help your child break down large projects or assignments into steps. Celebrate progress on each part, not just the final result. This approach builds confidence and a sense of control.
• Practice positive self-talk: Model gentle, realistic language about mistakes and setbacks. Encourage your teen to reframe negative thoughts, such as saying “I am still learning this skill” instead of “I am just bad at it.”
• Normalize asking for help: Remind your child that everyone needs support sometimes—whether from a teacher, tutor, or family member. Let them know that reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness.
• Establish healthy routines: Build consistent study and sleep habits together. Predictable routines reduce the urge to procrastinate and help teens feel more prepared for school challenges. Our study habits resource offers more tips for families.
• Limit comparison and promote self-reflection: Focus on your child’s individual journey, progress, and effort. Talk openly about how everyone learns differently and that comparison can drain motivation.

Experts recommend regular check-ins with your teen to discuss how they are feeling about school. You can ask open-ended questions such as, “What part of your day felt most stressful?” or “Is there anything you wish was different about your learning environment?” These conversations help your child feel seen and supported, making it easier to address anxiety together.

How Parents Can Help: Answers to Common Questions

What if my teen refuses to talk about their anxiety?

This is a common experience for parents. Teens may feel ashamed or worried about disappointing you. Let your child know that you are available without pressure. Share your own experiences with stress, and model calm, accepting responses to setbacks. Sometimes, casual settings—like talking during a car ride or while doing chores—make it easier for teens to open up.

Should I step in if my child is avoiding homework?

If avoidance becomes a pattern, it is helpful to gently guide your child toward action. Offer to sit together while they start an assignment, or help them set a timer for short study sessions. If the problem persists, consider reaching out to teachers or school counselors for additional support.

How do I know if my teen’s anxiety needs professional help?

If anxiety is interfering with daily life—such as causing frequent absences, sleep problems, or affecting friendships—talk to your child’s school counselor or a healthcare provider. Early support can make a big difference.

High School and Overcoming Academic Anxiety: What Makes Grades 9-12 Unique?

High school brings unique pressures: college admissions, standardized tests, and increased workload. Teens in grades 9-12 may feel that the stakes are higher, which can intensify anxiety and make the common mistakes teens make when anxious about school more likely. Encourage your high schooler to pace themselves, set realistic goals, and seek balance between academics and downtime. Remind them that setbacks are a normal part of learning and growth. Overcoming school anxiety in teens often starts with a supportive, open family environment and practical skill-building. If your child already uses accommodations or has an IEP, regular communication with teachers helps ensure their needs are met.

Confidence Building for Struggling Learners: Practical Steps for Parents

Confidence is not just about academic success—it is about developing a sense of self-worth and resilience. For struggling learners, confidence can be fragile. Here are a few ways to support your child’s confidence while addressing the common mistakes teens make when anxious about school:

• Highlight strengths outside of academics: Celebrate your teen’s hobbies, interests, and unique talents.
• Encourage self-advocacy: Teach your child to express their needs and preferences at school. Practice what to say with role-play scenarios at home.
• Use positive reinforcement: Notice and praise effort, not just outcomes. This builds motivation to keep trying, even when things feel hard.
• Model healthy coping strategies: Show your child how you handle stress—deep breathing, taking breaks, or asking for help—all skills they can use at school.

Remember, making mistakes is a natural part of learning. The goal is not to avoid all mistakes, but to learn and grow from them.

Tutoring Support

K12 Tutoring understands the challenges families face when teens struggle with anxiety at school. Our supportive tutors work alongside your child to identify their strengths, develop effective study habits, and build confidence. We believe every student deserves a learning environment where they feel safe, understood, and able to thrive. If you are looking for practical strategies or one-on-one skill-building, explore our resources or reach out for guidance tailored to your family’s needs.

Related Resources

• Back to School Anxiety – Harvard Health Blog
• 10 Tips to Help Kids Deal with School Anxiety
• How to Help Your Child Beat Exam Anxiety in Elementary School – Little Otter Health Blog (littleotterhealth.com)

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].