Encouraging students to speak up when they need help

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Supporting Struggling Learners

Many parents of struggling high school learners wonder how to help their child become more comfortable asking for help. It is common for students to hesitate before raising their hand or approaching a teacher, especially if they fear standing out or looking less capable. Encouraging high school students to ask for help can feel challenging, but with patience and the right tools, you can empower your child to advocate for their needs and make the most of their learning experience.

Definitions

Self-advocacy means recognizing when support is needed and taking steps to communicate those needs to others, such as teachers or classmates.

Asking for help is a learned skill that involves noticing a challenge and reaching out to a trusted adult or peer for guidance, clarity, or resources.

Why Encouraging High School Students to Ask for Help Matters

Experts in child development note that students who know how to ask for help are more likely to overcome academic challenges, build confidence, and develop resilience. High school is a time of increasing academic expectations and independence, making it crucial for teens to learn when and how to reach out. Many teachers and parents report that students who speak up about their struggles tend to perform better and feel more connected at school. Encouraging high school students to ask for help is about teaching them that seeking support is a strength, not a sign of failure.

For struggling learners, the fear of being judged or misunderstood can make speaking up even harder. By normalizing asking for help and modeling it at home, you can make this process less intimidating and more natural.

Self-Advocacy: Knowing When to Ask for Help

Recognizing when to ask for help is a valuable self-advocacy skill. Some students may wait until they are overwhelmed before reaching out, while others may not realize they are allowed to ask questions. Encourage your child to notice signs of confusion or frustration, such as rereading the same passage multiple times or feeling stuck on an assignment. Let them know that these moments are normal and signal a good time to seek assistance.

• Discuss examples of when seeking help made a difference, such as clarifying instructions or getting feedback on a project.
• Reinforce that teachers want students to succeed and appreciate when students speak up.
• Remind your child that asking for help early prevents small problems from growing into larger ones.

Tips for Speaking Up in Class: A Parent Guide

Many parents ask, “How can I help my child feel comfortable asking questions at school?” Here are some tips for speaking up in class that you can share and practice together:

• Role-play specific scenarios: Practice what to say if your child does not understand a concept, such as, “Could you explain that another way?” or “I am not sure how to start this problem.”
• Encourage written questions: If your teen is shy, suggest writing questions on a sticky note or in a notebook to refer to during class or after.
• Normalize mistakes: Share your own stories of asking for help at work or in daily life, highlighting positive outcomes.
• Set realistic goals: Challenge your child to ask one question per week, then celebrate their progress.
• Connect with teachers: Let your child know that sending an email or staying after class is a valid way to get help.
• Use peer support: Encourage them to reach out to classmates for clarification or form a study group for shared problem-solving.

High School Struggles: When Should My Child Ask for Help?

High school students often feel pressure to do everything on their own. As a parent, you might notice your child struggling in silence. Here are signs that your child may benefit from asking for help:

• They spend excessive time on assignments without making progress.
• They avoid talking about certain subjects or classes.
• They receive lower grades despite effort.
• They seem frustrated or anxious about schoolwork.

Encourage open conversations at home. Ask your child what feels challenging and remind them that everyone needs help sometimes, especially as academic demands increase in high school. If they seem hesitant, reassure them that their teachers expect and welcome questions. You can also suggest practical steps, such as preparing questions ahead of class or visiting during office hours.

Building Confidence and Resilience Through Self-Advocacy

Learning to ask for help is not just about academics—it is about building confidence and life skills. When you focus on encouraging high school students to ask for help, you teach them to trust themselves, handle setbacks, and seek resources. This skill will serve them well beyond graduation, whether in college, at work, or in relationships.

Some students may benefit from support building their confidence. If your child is especially anxious or reluctant, consider reading about confidence-building strategies or exploring self-advocacy resources together. Practicing small acts of self-advocacy at home—such as ordering food or asking for directions—can make the process feel less intimidating at school.

Encouraging High School Students to Ask for Help: Practical Steps for Parents

• Model asking for help: Show your child that you ask questions and seek assistance in your daily life.
• Use affirming language: Praise their efforts when they speak up, regardless of the outcome.
• Talk through specific situations: Discuss recent assignments or experiences where asking a question could have made a difference.
• Collaborate with educators: Let teachers know about your child’s challenges and encourage a supportive classroom environment.
• Promote resourcefulness: Remind your child that there are many ways to get help, including online resources, peers, and family support.

Many teachers and parents report that when students see adults valuing questions, they become more likely to do the same. Over time, encouraging high school students to ask for help will foster their independence and make school a more positive experience.

What If My Child Refuses to Ask for Help?

It is common for high school students, especially struggling learners, to resist speaking up. This may stem from a fear of embarrassment, previous negative experiences, or a belief that they “should” be able to figure things out alone. If your child avoids asking for help, try these approaches:

• Validate their feelings and let them know it is normal to feel nervous.
• Remind them that everyone learns differently and needs different types of support.
• Help them identify a trusted adult or peer they feel comfortable approaching first.
• Share stories of older students or adults who succeeded by seeking help at the right time.

If your child continues to struggle, consider involving a counselor or exploring related skill-building resources for additional support.

When Should Parents Step In?

While independence is important, there are times when parental involvement is necessary. If your child is experiencing high levels of stress, falling grades, or emotional distress, reach out to teachers or school counselors together. Your support can make it easier for your child to navigate these conversations and find solutions. Remember, the ultimate goal is to build your child’s ability to self-advocate, not to solve every problem for them.

Encouraging High School Students to Ask for Help: A Lifelong Skill

Encouraging high school students to ask for help is one of the most valuable skills you can nurture. By providing reassurance, modeling advocacy, and creating safe opportunities to practice, you empower your child to take charge of their learning and well-being. Struggles are a normal part of growth, and with your guidance, your child can learn to turn obstacles into opportunities for connection and success.

Tutoring Support

If your child continues to struggle with speaking up or advocating for themselves at school, K12 Tutoring is here to partner with you. Our tutors are trained to support teens in building confidence, communication skills, and academic independence. Together, we can create a supportive environment where your child feels comfortable asking for help and reaching their full potential.

Further Reading

• How Kids Can Overcome the Awkwardness of Asking for Help
• Getting Students to Ask For Help When They Need It
• Self-Advocacy Education

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].