How parents can talk to teachers in elementary school?

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Supporting Neurodivergent Learners in Elementary School

Many parents of neurodivergent learners—such as children with ADHD, autism, or sensory differences—wonder how parents can talk to teachers in elementary school to make sure their child’s needs are understood and met. It is normal to feel both hopeful and anxious about these conversations. Teachers want your child to thrive, and open communication helps create a supportive learning environment. Your unique knowledge as a parent is an asset, and working together with teachers can make a big difference for your neurodivergent child’s confidence and progress.

Definitions

Neurodivergent: A term describing individuals whose brains process information differently, which may include ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, dyslexia, and other learning or attention differences.

Self-advocacy: The ability to understand and speak up for one’s own needs and preferences. For elementary-age children, parents often take the lead in advocating with teachers.

How parents can talk to teachers in elementary school: Steps, Tips, and Scenarios

Wondering how parents can talk to teachers in elementary school, especially when your child has unique needs? The elementary years are a time of rapid growth, and communication with teachers can sometimes feel overwhelming. Many parents notice their children struggling with focus, organization, or social cues, and worry about bringing up concerns without seeming critical. Experts in child development note that early, honest communication—with a focus on partnership—helps children feel supported and improves outcomes for all learners.

Here are practical steps and scenarios to guide you in building a positive, ongoing relationship with your child’s teachers.

Start with respect and curiosity

Begin every interaction by acknowledging the teacher’s role and expertise. Simple phrases like “Thank you for sharing updates about my child” or “I appreciate your efforts this year” set a positive tone. Approach conversations with curiosity. For example, “I’ve noticed my child seems anxious about reading at home. What do you observe in the classroom?” This invites the teacher to share insights and opens the door to problem-solving together.

Share observations, not just concerns

Instead of leading with worries, describe what you are seeing at home. For example, “My child sometimes has trouble getting started on homework” or “She really loves science experiments but gets frustrated during group work.” This helps teachers understand your child’s strengths and challenges. It also creates space for the teacher to share classroom strategies or suggest adjustments.

Ask open-ended questions

Questions like “How do you support students who need extra help focusing?” or “What routines seem to help my child during transitions?” show that you value the teacher’s insight and are willing to collaborate. Many teachers and parents report that ongoing dialogue leads to creative solutions, such as changing a child’s seat or offering movement breaks.

Request specifics and follow-ups

If your child has an Individualized Education Program (IEP) or 504 Plan, ask about how accommodations are being implemented. For example, “Could you share how the extra time on assignments is working for my child?” If you do not have a formal plan, you can still ask, “What supports can we try together?” After meetings, summarize next steps and ask for a follow-up date. This keeps everyone accountable and reassures your child that adults are working as a team.

Address emotional barriers

It is common for parents to feel nervous, embarrassed, or even defensive in school meetings. Remember, your perspective matters. Many parents feel guilt asking for help, but teachers expect questions and appreciate your advocacy. If you feel overwhelmed, try writing down your thoughts before a conversation or bringing a friend or family member to a meeting for support.

Communicating with teachers: Tips for working with teachers as a team

Building trust with teachers is a process. Here are a few tips for working with teachers that help foster a strong partnership:

• Set regular check-ins by email or in person, even when things are going well. Consistent, brief communication keeps you in the loop and helps your child feel supported.
• Share what works at home. For example, “My child responds well to visual schedules” or “He likes to have quiet time before starting homework.” Teachers can sometimes adapt these ideas for the classroom.
• Be honest about challenges, but also highlight your child’s interests and progress. This balances the conversation and reminds everyone of your child’s potential.
• Respect teachers’ time. If you need to discuss a complex issue, request a meeting instead of a quick chat at pick-up.
• Keep a communication log. Jot down important points from discussions, action items, and follow-up dates. This helps you stay organized and shows teachers you are engaged.

Grade-level guide: Communicating with teachers in K-5

Communication strategies can look different depending on your child’s age and grade. Here are some grade-specific tips for elementary school parents:

• Kindergarten–Grade 2: Focus on building relationships and sharing routines. Young children may not be able to express their needs, so your observations are especially valuable. Ask about social skills, transitions, and classroom behavior. Example: “What can I do at home to reinforce routines you use in class?”
• Grades 3–5: Encourage your child to participate in meetings or share their perspective. Ask teachers how your child is doing with peer relationships and independent work. For neurodivergent learners, discuss self-advocacy skills, such as asking for help or using classroom tools. Example: “How can I help my child practice speaking up if he needs a break?”

What if I disagree with the teacher?

It is normal for parents and teachers to see things differently. If you disagree, stay calm and respectful. Focus on shared goals: “We both want my child to succeed.” Ask for examples and suggest trying a strategy for a set period, then checking in. If needed, involve a school counselor or special education coordinator to help mediate and find solutions.

Common mistakes and how to avoid them

• Waiting too long to communicate: Early conversations prevent small issues from growing. Even a quick email can make a difference.
• Using only negative feedback: Recognize teachers’ efforts and share positive stories about your child. This builds goodwill and makes tough conversations easier.
• Not preparing for meetings: Take notes on your questions and concerns ahead of time. Bring documentation, such as work samples or doctor’s notes, if relevant.
• Assuming teachers know everything about your child: Teachers have many students and may not see the same behaviors at school and home. Your input is valuable and helps tailor support.

Supporting your child’s growth and self-advocacy

Elementary school is the perfect time to model and practice self-advocacy skills. Involve your child in conversations as appropriate. For example, ask, “Is there anything you want your teacher to know about how you learn best?” Over time, children become more comfortable expressing their needs and preferences. This foundation supports independence and confidence in higher grades.

For more ways to build these skills, see our self-advocacy resources for parents and students.

Tutoring Support

If communicating with your child’s teachers ever feels challenging, remember you are not alone. K12 Tutoring offers personalized support for families and students, including help with advocacy, communication strategies, and skill-building for neurodivergent learners. Together, we work with families and schools to help every child reach their potential.

Related Resources

• Teaching K-12 Students to Self-Advocate During Distance Learning
• How to Break Down Communication Barriers Between Teachers and Families
• How To Respond to Bad Teachers – Parents.com

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].