High school guide to communicating with teachers effectively

Key Takeaways

Audience Spotlight: Supporting Neurodivergent Learners in High School

Many parents of neurodivergent high school students notice that communicating effectively with teachers can feel especially challenging. Neurodivergent learners, including those with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or anxiety, often experience unique barriers when it comes to speaking up in class, emailing a teacher, or asking for help. These challenges are normal and solvable. This high school guide to communicating with teachers is designed for families like yours, offering strategies that honor your child’s strengths, meet them where they are, and help them grow as self-advocates. Whether your child struggles to start conversations, feels misunderstood, or worries about being judged, you are not alone. Many teachers and parents report that with guidance and practice, high schoolers build the confidence and skills they need to connect and communicate more effectively.

Definitions

Self-advocacy: The ability to understand and communicate one’s needs and rights, especially in a school setting, so students can ask for support and accommodations when needed.

Neurodivergent: A term that describes people whose brains work differently, including those with learning differences like ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or anxiety.

High school guide to communicating with teachers: Why it matters

Starting high school brings new freedoms and responsibilities. For neurodivergent learners, navigating these changes often means finding ways to speak up, ask questions, and clarify expectations with teachers. Experts in child development note that communication is not just an academic skill; it is foundational for building independence, resilience, and self-confidence. The high school guide to communicating with teachers focuses on helping your child develop these skills in ways that feel safe and manageable.

Many students worry that asking questions will make them seem different or that teachers will not understand their needs. Yet most teachers want to help and value students who communicate openly. When your child learns to express their ideas and concerns, they are more likely to receive the support they deserve—and to feel empowered in their learning journey.

Common barriers: What gets in the way?

Understanding what makes communication difficult is the first step to helping your child. Some common barriers for neurodivergent high school students include:

• Anxiety: Worry about saying the wrong thing, being judged, or not understanding instructions.
• Processing differences: Needing extra time to organize thoughts before responding, especially in fast-paced classes.
• Social cues: Difficulty reading body language or tone, which can make face-to-face conversations stressful.
• Past experiences: If your child has felt dismissed or misunderstood by teachers before, they may hesitate to try again.
• Sensory sensitivities: Overwhelm from classroom noise or bright lights can make it harder to focus on conversation.

It is important to remind your child that these challenges do not mean they are failing. Many neurodivergent students experience similar struggles, and with the right support, they can overcome them.

Building self-advocacy: Communication strategies for high school

Equipping your child with practical tools is at the heart of this high school guide to communicating with teachers. Try these steps to help your teen prepare for and practice these conversations:

• Role-play at home: Practice common scenarios, like asking for clarification on an assignment or requesting extra time. Parents can take turns being the teacher so your child can try different approaches.
• Scripted starters: Provide your child with opening lines to make speaking up less intimidating. Examples include, “Could you explain that part again?” or “I am having trouble focusing and wanted to ask for help.”
• Email templates: Many students find writing easier than speaking. Work together to create simple email templates for questions, updates, or requests for accommodations.
• Visual supports: Some neurodivergent learners benefit from having notes, checklists, or even visual cue cards to bring into meetings or classes.
• Scheduled check-ins: Encourage setting up regular times to meet with teachers, which can reduce anxiety about unexpected conversations.

Remind your child that teachers appreciate students who take initiative. You can help by modeling calm, respectful communication at home and celebrating each effort your child makes to connect with their teachers.

High school guide to communicating with teachers: What does effective communication look like?

Effective communication can look different for every student, especially neurodivergent learners. Here are some signs your child is making progress, even if it is gradual:

• Expressing their needs or concerns in person, by email, or through written notes.
• Asking clarifying questions instead of staying silent when confused.
• Following up if they do not receive a response.
• Participating in IEP or 504 meetings, even if only by sharing one thought or question.
• Requesting reasonable accommodations or support when needed.

Celebrate these steps, no matter how small. Every attempt helps build your child’s confidence and independence.

Tips for talking to teachers: A parent’s practical guide

Parents play a vital role in supporting their child’s communication with teachers. Here are some tips for talking to teachers that also help your child learn these skills for themselves:

• Collaborate, not confront: Approach teachers as partners, sharing what works for your child and asking for their observations.
• Share strengths and challenges: Give teachers a balanced picture of your child’s learning style, so they can best support them.
• Encourage independence: Gradually pass communication responsibilities to your child, with your support as needed.
• Follow up in writing: After meetings or phone calls, summarize key points in an email so nothing is forgotten.
• Use school resources: Reach out to counselors, special education case managers, or learning support staff for additional help.

Remember, your advocacy as a parent models self-advocacy for your child. Over time, they will gain the skills and confidence to speak up on their own.

Grade 9-12 focus: Building communication skills for the teenage years

High school is a time of rapid growth and change. In grades 9-12, neurodivergent learners are developing not only academic knowledge but also essential life skills. The high school guide to communicating with teachers emphasizes gradual, supported practice. Here are ways to encourage skill-building specific to these years:

• Start small: Encourage your child to ask one question per week, or to introduce themselves by email at the start of a semester.
• Reflect together: After each interaction, discuss what felt challenging and what went well.
• Celebrate progress: Recognize every effort, no matter how minor. Growth often happens in small steps.
• Connect with peers: Encourage your teen to talk with classmates who have similar experiences. Peer support can normalize self-advocacy concerns.
• Use external resources: Explore self-advocacy resources to find more strategies for building communication confidence.

Parent Q&A: What if my child’s teacher does not respond?

It is common for parents to worry, “What if my child speaks up but the teacher does not respond or understand?” Remind your child and yourself that communication is a skill for both students and teachers. Sometimes, teachers are busy or need reminders. Encourage your child to follow up politely, either in person or by email, and to ask for help from a counselor or case manager if needed. You can also reach out as a parent to ensure your child’s needs are heard. Persistence, patience, and teamwork go a long way toward finding solutions.

Related Resources

• Discussing a Problem with Your Child’s School
• 7 Things to Tell the Teacher About Your Child
• How to Work Well With Your Child’s Teacher

Tutoring Support

K12 Tutoring understands that every neurodivergent learner and family is unique. Our tutors partner with parents and students to build self-advocacy and communication skills, offering personalized strategies and encouragement every step of the way. Whether your child is just beginning to speak up or ready to take on more responsibility, we are here to support your family’s journey.

Trust & Transparency Statement

Last reviewed: October 2025
This article was prepared by the K12 Tutoring education team, dedicated to helping students succeed with personalized learning support and expert guidance. K12 Tutoring content is reviewed periodically by education specialists to reflect current best practices and family feedback. Have ideas or success stories to share? Email us at [email protected].